Nobody’s watching, stop holding back

Welcome to Florafolly 🌸

Where stories bloom and lessons unfold. A journey inward, shared outward. And so it starts…

The story 📚

I’m anxious. Why am I doing this? Why did I say yes? I hate meeting new people. What if they think I’m weird? Dude, you are weird.

My thoughts are racing. Should I cancel? It’s so last minute… I guess I’ll go.

Breathe.

My fiancé watches me.

“You know it’s right downstairs? If you’re not having a good time, you can just come back.”

I nod, but panic is already kicking in.

I knock on my neighbor’s door, late and breathless.

There are only three of them. They look cool.

Too cool.

And then the thoughts start again.

I’m probably not cool enough to be here.

They’re gonna notice I don’t even speak proper English.

But it’s too late to back out now.

The night moves on. We talk, we laugh, we play We’re Not Really Strangers, a game designed for deep conversations.

Then comes the question:

“What did you think about the others when you first met them?”

The ball of stress rises again. What am I going to say?

I can’t lie, I’m a bad liar— so I decide to be honest:

"I thought you all looked really cool, and it made me wonder if I was cool enough to be here. I was late, and you were all so chill—it was intimidating.”

They burst out laughing. “Are you kidding? You’re very cool!”

Then they share their first impressions of me.

"You looked so suave."

I feel silly.

As we talk, a pattern emerges: every one of us felt, at some point, not enough. Not fun enough, not pretty enough, not interesting enough.

That is CRAZY.

Remember being a kid? You’d walk up to someone on the playground and say, “Wanna be friends? I have a cool stick.” And just like that, you had a friend.

But as we grew up, we started carrying “le regard des autres”—the weight of how others perceive us. It makes us self-conscious about everything.

How smart we are.

How we’re dressed.

How cool we sound.

Always making us feel like we’re less than others. Always comparing.

But here’s the truth:

While you’re spiraling about your outfit—Is this too much for a second date? Are people going to judge me?

The person in front of you is probably thinking—Wow, they look amazing. I wish I had a fashion sense. I hope I don’t look like a loser.

Or whatever their version of it is.

The lesson 📝

Here’s the paradox: Everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to be focusing on you.

This is called the spotlight effect—the illusion that we are being observed, analyzed, or judged more than we actually are.

We think people are looking, noticing, scrutinizing.

They aren’t.

They’re too preoccupied with their own internal dialogue—their own worries, insecurities, and doubts.

So what does this mean?

It means the freedom we crave is already ours.

Because if no one is paying that much attention, what’s stopping you from doing the things you want to do?

That outfit you hesitated to wear? No one cares.

That hobby you think people will judge? No one’s thinking about it as much as you are.

That opinion you were afraid to voice? People are too busy worrying about how they sound to scrutinize you.

And if they do notice you? It’s often in ways you never expected.

You think they’re seeing your awkwardness. They’re seeing your charm.

You think they’re judging your accent. They’re admiring your courage.

You think they’re questioning if you belong. They’re wondering if they belong.

The fear we carry is built on a false premise—that the world is watching us.

It’s not.

Nobody gives a shit.

Here.

I said it.

The questions 💭

So… what would you do differently if you truly believed that?

• What do you stop yourself from doing because you’re afraid of how it’ll look?

  That bold career move? That creative project? That thing you’ve been meaning to say but haven’t?

• Can you think of a moment when you were so self-conscious that it stopped you from doing something you wanted?

  What was the fear? And in hindsight, was it as big as it seemed?

• What if, for the next few days, you experimented with living as if no one was watching?

  Would you dress differently? Speak more freely? Take that first step towards something new?

Try it.

See what happens.

Until next time, may your stories unfold.

With love,

Flora